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Throwing Teddy out of the Pram

Creative people can be…extreme.  Think Van Gogh cutting off his ear, or my personal favourite the artist Caravaggio and who was stabbed to death in a bar fight.

If you are a creative person or the partner of a creative person, this may make some sense to you. If you don’t fall into either of these categories please feel free to scroll on or click away. This may not be for you.

The end of a particularly challenging week was rounded off, when my slightly psychotic creative side saw reason to protect her corner, and boy can she roar.

A trivial incident triggered an explosion of emotion. With hindsight the situation could have been handled better but I’m only human. I’ve fought hard, fiercely and independently to reconnect with creativity. It is a constant theme at the top of every list and carefully woven into everything around me. Every decision I make revolves around ensuring there is enough room for creativity to flourish, how to get the best creative outcome from the things that bring joy, how to inject creativity into daily living by ensuring worn apparel and surrounding environment reflect what creativity means to me. I love admiring and fantasising about bright, new shiny things or ideas but they are not chosen or acted on, unless there is a natural organic fit with what I already have or want to build. But hey, that’s just me being creative and childishly naive. This somewhat obsessive methodology is mine to bear, however, if you consider yourself part of my circle; (I have one circle, you’re either in it or you’re not) you should be aware creativity is a big deal. It’s not a gimmick, a bit of acting, the odd blog or piece of artwork hanging on a wall – it’s part of my identity and I make no apologies for trying to maintain and protect that identity.

If this is news to you, either you’re not in the circle or you don’t know me as well as you think – and breathe.

Like any passion stirring ideal, creativity comes at a price, not everyone gets it. Equally I find lots of ordinary activities, things and people mind-numbingly boring. This sometimes means being alone, staying quiet, keeping my own counsel and avoiding patience-trying situations whenever possible. The great push to understand oneself at a deeper creative level also helps to understand others. The truth that comes with greater comprehension can be uncomfortable especially when people are just being themselves; not what is wanted or expected from them. There have been a number of contentious occasions recently, none more surprising than my incredible reaction to someone else’s inanimate objects bearing more than a passing resemblance, to a prized possession of mine. The latest incident was followed by several days trying to fathom the hidden truth behind the emotion.

Thank heavens I can write.

Various methods have been employed to manage this affliction (it’s not a choice) yoga, meditation, wine and snatched moments with long-suffering friends & family, bless you all who understand. It’s a work-in-progress and I’m so grateful for all your patience – especially as I have very little.

So what is the lesson here?  Keep taking the meds, obviously!

More importantly, it’s about recognising whose in the circle and not resorting to blind anger when someone no longer fits, or when their time in the circle is over.

Peace. Out.










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