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Winter blues

I’ve had two weeks of winter blues and general malaise. So coffee and a chat with a friend early in the week was a welcome distraction. It ended up being a worthwhile heart to heart discussion that I did not know I needed. The following day I released the old shackles of negativity, low self-esteem and distrust enough to allow the creativity within to flow through. This constant search for the perfect financial solution and external fulfilment is not working, furthermore, it’s causing discomfort and apathy. This will not do.

I finally opened up my birthday gift – a Masterclass with my hero Shonda Rhimes, this would get me motivated and back on track. After the 5 minute introduction, I was not disappointed. The first recommendation is to use the course to develop a television series idea already in existence but in need of work.  Time to dust off my creative portfolio it would seem. I’ve been meaning to do something with it for ages, but I’m glad I didn’t. Now, I get to improve it with expert guidance and learn in the process.

That was just the beginning of the latest surge. I assumed my entry for the Screenplay challenge 2018 would not be good enough to progress to round 2. I wasn’t unhappy about this prospect; I tried it, it was fun and I would like to do it again definitely with more planning from the start next time.  But no, there is still a chance to qualify. Better yet the collated points from the first two rounds could keep me in the competition for round 3.  So that’s this weekend taken care of and a lesson learned from letting go of old notions. Incidentally, the feedback from this challenge was comprehensive, constructive and invaluable.

Spurred on by all the extra work I had undertaken, for a brief moment, I wondered how to continue filling this space and if the format would have to change. The introduction is practically second nature now. The storytelling is still moving forward, but it feels more tentative. Unusually I also have 3 reasonable ideas to work with once this serialisation comes to an end. So it isn’t clear where the sudden concern came from.  I was halfway down the road of telling myself that I may have to change the nature of this space if I cannot do it justice, but I stopped. If that day comes I’ll deal with it then.

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