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The Phoenix has Risen

 

It’s been a while, so let’s recap.

March 2020 teetering on the edge of a huge networking breakthrough. I set off to a Business Exhibition armed with a new box of business cards ready to tout for and engage with local businesses. The event was cancelled because of Covid-19, shit got real, the first of several lockdowns was moments away. A slow steady meltdown ensued from there.

The pandemic was a great leveller, “celebrities” were freaking out the same as everyone else. The Zoom explosion bought its own challenges before it became the new norm. Traditional office work attire had long been abandoned, but seemed inappropriate at home, not to mention tight. Comfort food and a sedentary lifestyle took hold as every aspect of lockdown was explored, exposed and exploited. My inner sense suggested it was fine to pause and take the break these extraordinary circumstances offered. I was breaking anyway, I just had to let it happen. This transition was on par with being asked to breathe liquid oxygen, for those of you who remember that scene with Ed Harris in The Abyss. The fear of the unknown caused resistance, until there was no other choice. The binds of toxic relationships were released; the journey inwards to heal and develop self-care began. To varying degrees, there was prayer, meditation, exercise, lounging, healthy food, junk food, wine, listening to the radio, talking to friends and family plus shed loads of television. Throughout, theatre interests were maintained, also re-discovering reading, gratefulness and the absolute horrors of telephone customer service.

There was no indication of how long this self-caring, re-birthing process would take. The end of never-ending lockdown(s)? A year? Until the notion of ‘self’ became second nature, or for as long as I needed it to be? Not writing was a concern, but it would be fruitless without a clear, stable foundation. The inner voice suggested, sticking to basics. Find income source, re-train negative patterns, keep toxicity at bay and maintain self-counsel, until a way forward presented itself. This was an unsettling time, however, with repetition, space, a little faith and re-ignited self-belief, sanity remained.

Finances went down to the wire, survival instincts took over, I cut-back, streamlined and held on. A lifeline appeared after numerous applications and I accepted a temporary position as a telephone customer service advisor. The potential for much needed income and some sense of normality in unusual times could not be ignored. There were three advantages to this role; it paid, there was no commute and there would be an end date. After three contract extensions my services were no longer required. The end came slowly but allowed thoughts about next steps once sweet freedom returned. It was time to stop chasing and instead be pursued. As if by magic the mystical number 3 struck again.

First, a random phone call about a new networking group, secondly a call regarding a copywriting assignment. The copywriting job was secured with another satisfied customer and I made a guest appearance at the promising new networking group. Completing the trinity, I hit on a radical idea following a meeting with the big scary writing institution, this led to an action point and interesting debate. After months of imposter syndrome I found confidence and purpose. I was back and my mojo was along for the ride.

The past is past. The future, as always is uncertain, but the present is the greatest 🎁 gift. Live in the moment 🎤.

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