I was determined to get back to fighting all my fires and I got off to a good but slow start. I completed another module on the copywriting course and received positive feedback on my first assignment. But I still had to find a spiritual cushion to soften the unknown path ahead. My dear friends again provided sanctuary and enabled me to tap into the source of my disconnectedness, they also directed me to do something about it. I don’t know how many times I’ve said it to myself and anyone who cares to listen – drama is my religion! So this week with renewed energy I made enquiries and sent emails, I will get back into the fray.
I can scarcely believe what I came out with last week, trying to find an organic spiritual connection, I must be losing it! It’s there and it’s been there all along so it begs the question – what am I afraid of? After all this time and the incredible journey to find my way back to it, what gives? Perhaps I was in the wilderness for too long, allowing life’s practicalities to overtake truth and real happiness.
I’ve been too content to binge watch television series I wished I had written or starred in. Absorbing myself in other people’s work and dreams I can forget that my dreams have yet to come to fruition. It could also be the daunting prospect of the new environment, with the inevitable local nuances and closeness that I will have to break through. Then there’s the guilt. I like writing, but I love acting. If I work hard enough my writing could sustain me financially, acting provides essential, emotional and spiritual stability. For the present, these are the facts and I must make peace with them to achieve the balance I aspire to.