Yesterday I awoke to the knowledge that yet again I have willingly given up gainful employment and I could not help but wonder what I had done. The only thing I am certain of is that I cannot go back. No more vacuous administrative roles to satisfy the old narratives I keep telling myself; it will do for now, at least it pays the bills, I just have to try harder, other people have it worse, my writing is not good enough yet, etc. etc. etc. No, this time around I have taken a leap of faith into the creative abyss and I am letting the cards fall where they may.
For me creativity has been a mixture of pain, isolation and self-deprecation punctuated with moments of pure joy, release and absolute freedom. In parallel with all this navel gazing, I’m fortunate to have creative friends I have watched and praised for their courage, drive and success while I looked on wistfully wishing I could get my arse in gear, get on with it and join them. But no more, I’ve taken the hardest step now to see it through.
Like everything else it will require hard work, but thankfully not the work that means being suited, booted, doffing your cap, or denying the truth. Instead this work (writing) can be done at any time, any place, wearing any or no attire at all! Bring it on.