As the horror of approaching the blank page drew nearer I found myself refusing a social invitation, on a bank holiday weekend no less; to keep my commitment to writing. Yes I will be missing out on a sausage and cider festival; better known as a match made in heaven for the foodies out there, not to mention good company, but that does not mean this weekend should be any less enjoyable. Ordinarily I would be actively looking for something to do or somewhere to go over a bank holiday weekend. Instead I found myself genuinely excited about writing, psyched to be practising my art, terrified at the idea of researching the paranormal and determined to hold my resolve to allocate enough space for the creative flow. In actuality I don’t want anything to be more important or enjoyable than writing at the moment. I’ve rediscovered my happy place again, and that can only be a good thing.
I was struck by another realisation this week – my creativity is prevalent when I’m happy and virtually none existent when I’m sad. On some level I’ve always known this, but fear would not let me acknowledge it. Thankfully, knowledge is power and now it is evident where the fear stems from, it can be managed. I am a born worrier and not given to a happy disposition for the most part. I started this journey with the knowledge that however talented or qualified I may be, I must always, always find ways to stay buoyant and uplifted not sad; because sadness means I cannot create. This could be a blessing or a curse, but at least I know the truth.
On a lighter note; I had a successful writing day, managing to crack out another 1000 words while keeping the bad angel firmly in its place. I’m getting there, slow and steady wins the race as they say. But for now I need to go and find a new blind. In my exuberance to let in the light this morning, it snapped off and came away from the wall; luckily it fell into into my hands and did not crash into anything or cause any damage! Unusually this mishap did not faze me. So without swearing, I put the broken pieces aside smiling to myself at being able find the humour in the situation and of course recognising the opportunity to go shopping.